Divorce before departure

Question

I got married on 3 March 2019, but the customary rukhsati (bride’s departure from her home to her husband’s home) has not happened. However, both of our houses are close by, and that is why we have also established the relations of husband and wife among each other. After 15 days we had a dispute over the phone and I said to my wife that if you didn’t listen to me I would divorce you. She hung up the phone. But after an hour we reconciled and started talking to each other happily.

One month later, another issue occurred; my wife wanted to go somewhere but I stopped her and said if you didn’t listen to me I would divorce you.

After a few days, we are going to have an official rukhsati but my wife is saying that you have already divorced me two times. How can we remain married now?

Please guide me as to whether these divorces have occurred or not? If yes, what is the procedure for taking her back?

Answer

All praise is due to Allaah alone, and may the peace and blessings of Allaah be upon the one who has no prophet after him!

It is evident from the question that the questioner threatened his wife with divorce but did not actually give the divorce. Therefore, the divorce has not occurred.

However, if the questioner has indeed (intentionally) divorced his wife as she thinks so, then in this case these two divorces have occurred and in fact his right to revocation (ruju’) has also been rescinded. That is because a divorce given before rukhsati i.e. actual consummation of the marriage, has neither any ‘iddah nor ruju’ (revocation).

Allaah Ta’ala says:

{يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِذا نَكَحْتُمُ الْمُؤْمِناتِ ثُمَّ طَلَّقْتُمُوهُنَّ مِنْ قَبْلِ أَنْ تَمَسُّوهُنَّ فَما لَكُمْ عَلَيْهِنَّ مِنْ عِدَّةٍ تَعْتَدُّونَها}

“O you who believe, when you marry the believing women, and then divorce them before you have touched them, then they have no obligation of any ‘iddah (waiting period) for you that you may count”

[Al-Ahzaab: 49]

However, renewal of nikaah (with a new marriage contract) can be done. Therefore, if the questioner is true in his words then his nikaah is still intact and he can conduct the customary rukhsati at any time. And if the wife is true in her words that her husband has actually divorced her then it is necessary to renew the marriage contract before rukhsati.

One important thing that is necessary to be pointed out here is that you have only been married for a brief period of time and in this short period you have already tried to resort to an extreme measure of divorce twice. This type of behavior is not at all good for social life. It is not a big deal to have disagreements or fights among one another, but it is very dangerous to loose one’s control in anger, grief or extreme happiness. Therefore, you should try to find out the reasons behind it, and then try to resolve any physical, mental, or spiritual problem that you have. Try to adhere to Salaah, Fasting, Zikr and Recitation of the Qur’aan as much as possible; and also try to give sadaqah and donations from time to time as well as upholding ties of kinship. Through the blessings of these good deeds, perhaps Allaah will resolve all your problems and concerns. We pray that Allaah Ta’ala grants you and your household a long life full of righteousness, god-consciousness, and happiness. Ameen

Note: This fatwa was penned down after all possible investigation from the first party’s side, and we tried our best to have the second party to present her side of the story as well but according to the questioner she is not ready to talk. Therefore, any deficiencies in the information provided will be the sole responsibility of the questioner.